Confidence isn't something you need to have before you take action. Confidence is often what you gain because you took action.
So often people wait to feel confident before doing something they are unsure of, such as applying for a new job, speaking up in the meeting, having the difficult conversation, putting ourselves forward, starting a business, or taking on more responsibility.
We all have a story where we were too afraid to take the step because we didn't feel confident and later regretted it. One of those steps for me was starting my own business — I was terrified. I made plenty of mistakes along the way, each one leading to learning something new.
What if we've got it backwards?
Many wait to feel confident and then act, when in most cases we should rather act, learn, work through the discomfort and fear, and gradually build confidence.
When we can say:
- I've done difficult things before.
- I can figure things out.
- I don't need to know everything before I start.
- I can make a mistake and recover.
- I can handle uncomfortable conversations.
- I can trust myself to take the next step.
Confidence becomes less about positive thinking and more about trusting your abilities.
Small actions count:
- Speak up in a meeting instead of waiting for the perfect contribution.
- Ask a question even if you're afraid it might sound silly.
- Don't be afraid to say "I don't know, but I'll find out."
- Give someone constructive feedback rather than avoiding the conversation.
- Put your hand up to do something outside your comfort zone.
- Learn to say no without over-explaining yourself.
- Make a decision instead of endlessly seeking reassurance.
- Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them.
Waiting until you feel "ready" can become a moving target.
So often the experience that would make us ready only comes after we take the opportunity.
Why not practice building your confidence this week? Choose one small thing you've been avoiding because you don't feel confident enough, then do it!
Confidence isn't found at the end of the journey. It's built along the way.